not about husbands, kids or sex

Totally random post, but had to post it.

So heres my conversation with my neighbor yesterday, mind you my other neighbor is the exact same way. If you've ever seen the movie Extract, there you go!

Neighbor: " Hi, I found Frankie (my dog) out front" me:" Oh, he must have gotten out through the side gate" so blah, blah, blah. ok, here it is, me:" well thank you so much for returning him" (usually a cue that the conversation has ended) neighbor: (as he leans up against the wall, letting me know that he's not leaving any time soon) " so did you hear about Tom's dog" me: " ya it's sad, ok, well my baby is waiting for me to feed her so I'm gonna....", cut off, neighbor;" ya I had a dog when I was probably 12 or so, he was a lab, he used to get out all the time." (sigh), really? so, blah, blah, blah, the conversation goes on. Then (yay) my husband comes up behind me, and I see our neighbors attention turn to him, sweet thats my exit, I squeeze by my husband while nodding and saying uh-huh.

So, anyway, I just thought I'd share. Apparently there is no, for sure comment that will end a conversation, I could have said my house was on fire I gotta go, and he would have started up with a story about how his house caught on fire one time. And the funny thing is, this happens all the time with my husband and I and our 2 neighbors!

what?!

Okay, so given, were not naive, we know that when we decide to have kids, our bodies are gonna change. But seriously?! It's like a cruel joke God plays on us. " Here I'm going to give you this beautiful precious gift. But in return, I'm going to screw your body up royally." I'm not dumb, I realize some woman are better then me, and they just pop right back in to their size 2 jeans, the second the doctor slaps the babies ass, but that's not reality for me, and I'm pretty sure alot of other woman. Trust me I can live with the few extra pounds, I know how to go to a gym and work it off, but my boobs, really?! They used to be so cute and perky, now they're like utters, I feel like I should be milked, at least it would save us some money at the grocery store once a month. Normally, I wouldn't admit this out loud, it is embarrassing and too much information, but I know you other moms can relate whether you want to admit it or not, so I'll do it for you. And confidence, whats that? I used to be able to strut all over the house, butt naked. Now i make my husband turn around when I get out of the shower. Anyway I'm just saying, it's not fair. I wouldn't give my babies up for anything, but I do want to shake my old, hot body out of them, cause I think they're holding it hostage.