not about husbands, kids or sex

Totally random post, but had to post it.

So heres my conversation with my neighbor yesterday, mind you my other neighbor is the exact same way. If you've ever seen the movie Extract, there you go!

Neighbor: " Hi, I found Frankie (my dog) out front" me:" Oh, he must have gotten out through the side gate" so blah, blah, blah. ok, here it is, me:" well thank you so much for returning him" (usually a cue that the conversation has ended) neighbor: (as he leans up against the wall, letting me know that he's not leaving any time soon) " so did you hear about Tom's dog" me: " ya it's sad, ok, well my baby is waiting for me to feed her so I'm gonna....", cut off, neighbor;" ya I had a dog when I was probably 12 or so, he was a lab, he used to get out all the time." (sigh), really? so, blah, blah, blah, the conversation goes on. Then (yay) my husband comes up behind me, and I see our neighbors attention turn to him, sweet thats my exit, I squeeze by my husband while nodding and saying uh-huh.

So, anyway, I just thought I'd share. Apparently there is no, for sure comment that will end a conversation, I could have said my house was on fire I gotta go, and he would have started up with a story about how his house caught on fire one time. And the funny thing is, this happens all the time with my husband and I and our 2 neighbors!

what?!

Okay, so given, were not naive, we know that when we decide to have kids, our bodies are gonna change. But seriously?! It's like a cruel joke God plays on us. " Here I'm going to give you this beautiful precious gift. But in return, I'm going to screw your body up royally." I'm not dumb, I realize some woman are better then me, and they just pop right back in to their size 2 jeans, the second the doctor slaps the babies ass, but that's not reality for me, and I'm pretty sure alot of other woman. Trust me I can live with the few extra pounds, I know how to go to a gym and work it off, but my boobs, really?! They used to be so cute and perky, now they're like utters, I feel like I should be milked, at least it would save us some money at the grocery store once a month. Normally, I wouldn't admit this out loud, it is embarrassing and too much information, but I know you other moms can relate whether you want to admit it or not, so I'll do it for you. And confidence, whats that? I used to be able to strut all over the house, butt naked. Now i make my husband turn around when I get out of the shower. Anyway I'm just saying, it's not fair. I wouldn't give my babies up for anything, but I do want to shake my old, hot body out of them, cause I think they're holding it hostage.

Wheres the Romance

So one of the first things I noticed after getting married (and even more so, after we had kids) is that the romance in our relationship, starts to disapate. Or in most cases becomes nothing but hot air. Is it only noticed by me, or do husbands feel the need to stop romancing us and treating us like princesses the second that ring is on our finger. I remember when my husband would light candles, give me massages, brush my hair and cook me a nice dinner to get me in the mood. Nowadays, it's a slap on the butt, or a grab of the boob, and then a quick nudge to the bedroom, just a side note guys, us woman don't have on buttons located on our private parts. Is that really suppose to get me in the mood? That makes me feel about as sexy as a prostitute on the street corner of 5th and Main. When did we become not worth the effort. So my solution, I'm going to go sit on a bar stool, and have my husband come pick up on me, and have to work for it the way he would if he were single, and then just like if he were picking me up in a bar, I will turn him down cold, and finish having a drink with my girlfriends.

Reminicing

Reminicing.....Okay so how many of us (while sitting on the toilet watching our child take a bath) start to go back to the time, when come Friday night we would rush home start doing our hair and make-up, go through our closet trying to find the hottest outfit we had, that made our butt look phenominal, and our bust, actually, look alot like our butt. Call our friends, to meet up at either some friends house party, or bar, or club. As we listen to our favorite songs in the car on the way there, we would talk about the guys were seeing right then, or the guys we want to meet, how much we hate school or our jobs, but all the while having an absolute blast. Then you would spend the rest of the night dancing, talking, laughing, showing off, and having fun. Not to even bother getting home anytime before 2am. Then, exhausted, fall into our comfy beds, where we could sleep (the whole night through) and not wake up until 12pm the next day. Okay, now reality check, your back on the toilet, in your pajamas (it's 4pm) on Friday, and your night consists of feeding your kids, picking up the house, and trying to hurry up and get them to bed, so that MAYBE you can get one of your favorite shows in before going to bed (just be be woken up multiple times during the night) and then getting up at 6am, to start your day all over again. And P.s. and I will say this many times, I am definitley not complaining about my life, I am blessed, but life is ironic.

Homely Housewife

So I decided to blog about all the things that bug, bother, annoy, help, encourage, and entice me. Any woman who is a stay at home mom, is married, and has children will most likely relate in one sense or another. I feel like blogging about this stuff will help me and hopefully help other woman in my position. First and foremost, I have a great life, so please don't mistake my comment and complaints for a cry for help. They're not. They are however a way to vent, and to get out there the feelings that most woman in my position probably feel on an everyday basis, but can't always talk to their husbands about. I will be blogging on mostly an everyday basis, about my day, my week, my feelings, and my accomplishments. And for the record NO my life is not that interesting, actually it's quite the opposite, it is very monotonous and boring. But the reality is, how exciting are most housewives life's? Were not all the real housewives or Orange County, New York, Atlanta, whatever. That's unrealistic. We are the REAL housewives. And these are our lives...